From Fling to Forever: A Cannabis Love Story
by Baily Hancock Glick
I never meant for it to be a “thing”.
I only reached out because, in our handful of past encounters throughout my twenties, you helped me disconnect from reality for a minute and give me a good laugh. There was never any real attraction, only brief moments of fun and a few moments of pure panic (including one fateful night where, after consuming you + brownies, I honest to goodness believed that I had become a couch.) Never did I consider that you and I had both grown up since our last hang or that we could ever be anything more than just casual acquaintances who bumped into each other at house parties or music festivals.
When I asked a friend to connect us, he asked me a slew of questions like, “What do you want to happen? Do you want an Indica or Sativa strain? Would you like more of a body high or a head high?” It was then that I began to realize that perhaps there was more to you than I previously thought. Maybe you weren’t just a one-trick pony, only showing up with your old pal Doritos and inspiring seemingly deep conversations while watching, “Planet Earth”. Is it possible that you could potentially be more than a fling…?
The main reason I even wanted to reconnect with you was that I was looking for an escape from the stress and anxiety I was facing with going out on my own as an entrepreneur just a few months earlier, and planning my wedding which was only a couple of months away. I wasn’t sleeping well due to the ambush of urgent thoughts the moment I closed my eyes, and I was sick of waking up with a mild hangover after trying to solve the problem with wine the night prior. My actual request to the friend who introduced us was, “I just want something to help me go the fuck to sleep.” What I didn’t anticipate was you doing that, but so much more.
So we met up. You looked nothing like I remembered, showing up in the sleek packaging of a vape pen smelling sweetly of pineapple. Where was the skunky smelling, oregano-resembling bud that I knew in college? What sat before me was a sophisticated, discrete, grown-up version of you. I must admit, I was not not into you at that first encounter. We had a great time that night; you made me feel relaxed, stress-free, and I slept like a kitten the whole night through.
I knew it was kind of against the rules of a fling, but I couldn’t help but invite you to join me the following weekend on my self-care Sunday. Normally, Sundays are when I escape the onslaught of TV screens blasting too many football games and men yelling over one another in my living room. I typically retreat to my porch with a book, a cup of coffee, and my journal. My intention is always to leave my phone inside and enjoy the morning, allowing my mind to float in and out of a meditative state, producing thoughts that can only surface when you’ve instilled forced boredom upon yourself. Instead, what normally happens is the phone joins but the meditative free thinking does not, and rather than being present in the moment and giving my mind much needed free time away from social media, I’m sucked into the endless scrolling, only to emerge hours later with nothing gained but disappointment in the world at large.
But this Sunday was different. With you by my side on the porch, I suddenly lost myself in the rustling of the trees, the scurrying of the squirrels, and the sunshine bouncing off the leaves of my plants. I was fully there on that porch, living in a state of gratitude, optimism, and joy. My journal got a workout that morning for the first time in too long, and I even worked through some of the roadblocks in my business that had stumped me during the work week. Instead of wrapping up my porch time and rushing off to grocery shop and meal prep as I normally would on a Sunday, I found myself full of ideas, solutions to problems, and inspiration that I couldn’t wait to get out on paper. That Sunday was one of the most productive and pleasant days I had experienced since quitting my day job and going solo.
You know those moments when you start to realize that perhaps you were wrong about something or someone and suddenly have a burst of clarity? By the end of that day, I knew you were so much more than I had given you credit for. You weren’t just an escape, a numbing agent, or something reserved for slackers and hippies. You were different. Together, we were different. You brought something that I had been looking for far longer than I even knew - peace.
I’ve always leaned toward the Type-A persona, never really being able to fully relax or find comfort in stillness. If I wasn’t go-go-going, what was the point? Never one to have an empty social calendar, I’d hop from one thing to the next, making sure to fill up my schedule so as to minimize downtime. As I’ve gotten older (#thisis33) I’ve felt myself craving more solitude and recharging time but lacked the ability to turn my “GO” switch off. With you, it was simple. Suddenly, I enjoyed being in the company of me and found my own thoughts to be intriguing and worth quieting my mind to hear. I began to understand what being fully present actually feels like for the first time in my life, and boy, it was nice.
With stillness and presence came a heightened intuition and sense of calm with where I am in my life. Rather than feeling like I needed to be going, doing, moving more in my personal and professional life, I felt a wave of happiness and joy for where I was right then and there. I could easily visualize what mattered to me in my future, and the “cursed hows” vanished. It became clear that the only role I needed to play in the creation of my life was dreaming big, fully feeling the way I hope to in the future, and making room for all that manifestation to go down. You allowed me to get past my own hangups and “how’s” to embrace whatever shows up in a way that feels… well, really fucking good.
So here we are, months later, and you’re so much more than just a one night stand. You’re now an integral part of so many areas of my life, well beyond just Sundays on the porch. It’s because of you that I’ve been able to dream so much bigger in my businesses. Hell, you ended up becoming a whole new business for me! You are the reason that inex exists, and I’m really excited to see what shape it takes with you by my side.
I worry it may come off as though I’m perhaps a bit too into you and your ability to improve so many areas of my life, and maybe it’s true. But frankly, I feel like I’ve stumbled upon something that is as close to magic as it comes, and it seems shortsighted to not explore how far I can go with you. In the past few months since our whole “thing” began, I enjoy exercise more, food tastes better, and I have endless energy and enthusiasm for my work. You even swoop in during “that time of the month” to squash any cramps or headaches that attempt to phase me. I’ve gotten really good at listening to my intuition and finding peace even in the most chaotic of moments. All in all, you make my life better in nearly every area.
Did I expect you, cannabis, to go from being an escape tactic to being an integral part of my daily life? God no. Am I cool with it? Absolutely. What can I say? You can’t fight true love, even if you only meant for it to be a fling.